


A Special Snowflake

by knuddles



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:01:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knuddles/pseuds/knuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An interview leads to a misunderstanding...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Special Snowflake

**Author's Note:**

> I posted it original at LJ...

>Mark’s like the spring, like a blooming flower and a warm breeze. Gary’s like the summer, hot and shiny but sometimes grumpy and stormy. Howard’s like the autumn, warm with a touch of wildness underneath that’s hard to assess. And Jason’s like the winter, he’s a special snowflake, Jay is. <  
  
  
Jason jumped up and shakes his head.  
  
“A snowflake? A fucking snowflake? Great. People hate the winter. They get annoyed by snowflakes. The traffic breaks down caused by million snowflakes. I’m like the winter, eh? Cold and dark. Nice one. Fuck you Robbie. I thought you love me…”  
  
With that he lefts the room, leaving his bandmates astonished about his outburst.  
  
Gary, who holds the magazine he read Robbie’s interview from in hands, looks over to Rob.  
  
“Rob, what have you thought about?”  
  
“But…” a very confused Robbie was searching for an answer “I love the winter most… I don’t understand… it was a compliment! They asked me to compare you lot with the seasons…”  
  
“A COMPLIMENT???” Howard raised his voice, always defending Jason, ” A compliment? Honestly Rob, do you ever listen to yourself? How can telling someone he’s as cold as snow, as dark as a winter’s night and as dangerous as iced streets be a compliment? I go along with us three as I actually feel a storm building up in me. But how can you dare to compare him of all with the coldest time in year? I don’t get it! I thought he means something for you!”  
  
With that Howard left the room to look after Jason. He found him standing at the window in one of Gary’s guest rooms he always used when they stay at his.  
  
“Jay? Are you okay?” Howard asks gently.  
  
Jason didn’t turn around as he heard his friend’s voice, he just shakes his head.  
  
“Am I really as cold as snow, How? I don’t understand it… I thought we became real friend this time ‘round. I loved him; I started to understand all the issues we had back then. I started to see him as my brother, I trusted him. How could I be so wrong?” he asked him with a shaky voice.  
  
Howard, who couldn’t stand seeing his best friend, the one he, secretly, loves more then he should, being so disappointed and hurt. So he went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“I don’t know Jay, I really don’t.” He’s caressing Jason’s neck with his thumb to calm him down,” I don’t know what’s on his mind most of the time. All I know is that you’re not as cold as snow. You’re warm and caring and the loveliest person I’ve ever met. And when Mr. Robbie Fucking Williams doesn’t see it… his lost.”  
  
  
Meanwhile Robbie sat in front of Gary and Mark, obviously frustrated. It was all a big misunderstanding, like most in his life. But this time he doesn’t want to run away like he did last time, he wanted to fix it as soon as possible. So he tells the boys he’d talk to Jason right now.  
  
“Leave it, Bob,” Gary says, „he wouldn’t listen to you. Let Howard calm him down first. He’s great in it. And he’s the only one Jay’s listening to in this state. I know what I’m speaking about…”  
  
“But I’ve to do something, Gaz, I can’t leave it now. If I’m right and Jay’s a bit like me in this point I’ll have to do it now or never because I would make my mind and the things that’s hurting me would stuck in my head for a long time… I can’t risk this.”  
  
“So write him a letter, Rob” Mark suggested, “ You’re always good with words. And he can decide if and when he’ll read it.”  
  
Slowly Robbie nodded and hugged Mark.  
  
“Thank you, brother! That’s what I’ll do…” and with that he left the room.  
  
  
  
An hour later Howard heard a knock on the door and he found an envelope under the frame.  
  
‘HOWARD’ was written in Rob’s typical way. He opened it and took a bundle of folded sheets of paper out. On the back of it he read:  
  
Howard! I know you’re still with Jay. Please read this letter to him. I know he’d listening to you and pays more attention to what you say then to any others.  
  
So he opened it. There was a second envelope: Please just open it when you’ve finished reading!!!  
  
Jay looked puzzled at him but shrugs and told Howard: “Go on then, read.”  
  
And Howard started reading in his warm and tender voice he always had when it came to Jay:  
  
  
_Dear Jason, Jay my friend!_  
  
_I’m very sorry that I’ve offended you! It wasn’t on purpose, please believe me that. But I meant what I said: You’re like the winter, a special snowflake!"_  
  
“Pffhaa! Is it really necessary repeating it???” Jason interrupted his friend angrily, still starring out of the window.  
  
“Shush now, listen!” Howard commanded softly and read on:  
  
_"Yes, it was necessary to repeat it…"_ Howard smiled softly… _"because I still hope you see the compliment in it._  
  
_But if not (and for Howard! ;-)), let me explain it to you._  
  
_I know, most people see the winter as a cold and dark time. They become depressive because of the lack of the sun, they come too late to work because of all the snow in the streets, they have to pull on more clothes because of the cold, everything is dark and wet and muddy and bleak… All right! That’s one side of the medal._  
  
_Now let me show you the other side that counting more in my eyes:_  
 _For me, winter is about humanity. It’s the time in year when we care more for each other. In our street in Stoke we had an old lady. I only recognised her in winter when I helped her cleaning her part of the street or went shopping for her. I didn’t care for her the other seasons but in this part of the year I was there for her. Nobody forced me to do it; it was my desire to show her a little warmth. She always called me her little snowflake but about that later more._  
  
_You, Howard, said, winter is about danger. Yes, it is, but only because people can’t handle it. They can’t handle the snow in the streets and go on like always. If they would take down a gear and take things slower, nothing would happen._  
 _That’s what you always said to me, Jay: Take it slower, Rob, don’t do three things in one. Take your time and think about it. Then you can handle it… You don’t have to be the first in everything! See, I’ve listening to you!!!_  
  
_Yes, winter’s a dark time, but only as long as there’s no snow._  
 _Have you ever been out for a walk outside the city on a winter’s night after or during a snowfall? I bet you both know what I’m talking about._  
 _Everything is calming and every noise is swallowed by the snow. There’s no darkness at all because the snow reflexes the moonlight or the street lamps and light up everything in a warm tone._  
 _I always start whispering in those moments, don’t ask me why._  
 _That’s how I see you, Jay. I (and I know I’m not the only one!) calm down near you, I can’t even speak loud in your presents. There’s no darkness around you because you reflexes every glint in a warm way._  
  
_And what do you like more: A sweaty and overheated hug in summer or someone who’s looking for your warmth in winter?_  
 _That’s what Ayda learned first at her first proper winter in England; how nice it is to cuddle in front of a heater on a cold winter’s day. Or how beautiful it is to walk around when the sun is shining, the air is cold but clear and her nose is snuggled in a warm scarf (especially when it’s your partners scarf). The first time she saw a snowed landscape after a frosty night she took the dogs back on leash because she was afraid that they’d destroy the beauty of the glittering snow in the sunshine._  
 _That’s how I feel about you sometimes: You glittering in the limelight like a diamante, and all I wanna do is holding nearly everybody away from you, fearing they could destroy your inner beauty._  
  
_That leads us to the snowflakes._  
 _I asked the old lady one day why she named me ‘Snowflake’. She said:” Choose one out of the sky and try to catch it. You’ll never make it. It will always be another one landing in your hand: because they’re choosing YOU. They decide to land at your jacket, they decide to kiss your neck. Snowflakes are something special, Rob. You can sit the whole day watching them dancing weightless in the sky like I watch you playing in the street the whole year, but you choose when you’ll come to me. You can show me your coolness but once you decide to come along you melt in my hand and warm my heart.”_  
  
_I guess that’s why we didn’t cope the first time around, Jay. You were always a special snowflake I tried to catch, but you didn’t trust me, maybe afraid I’d blow you away once you warmth to me and you were right. Maybe I’d destroy you like I’d destroyed Gaz or Markie. But that time I’d the feeling Mark melting you away from me with his smile, Gary never let you glitter in the sun as you deserved it and Howard was the storm that blows you further away everytime I tried to catch you._  
 _Today I see Mark as the one we’re waiting for when we can’t bear too much beauty anymore and we need the easiness again, Gaz as the sun that will warm us in summer as well as letting the snow glittering in winter and you, Howard, I see as the autumn that softly leads us to the winter through the warmth but also through the storm. You blow the way free to the loveliness again._  
  
_What I didn’t realize back in the old days was that I was the one who couldn’t stand still so you’ve had even a chance to choose me. When I met Ayda I learned standing still, too amazed by her beauty and she picked me._  
 _That’s when I recognized winter and love have a lot in comment:_  
 _Take it slow so you can handle it._  
 _Appreciate the silence and try to calm down as often as you can._  
 _Protect the one you love from anything that could destroy them._  
 _Wait what happen and don’t force your luck._  
  
_So maybe now you can understand what I meant when I said: It’s a compliment._  
  
_With all my love_  
  
_Rob (who’s waiting motionless for your choice)_  
  
  
Silent tears streamed down Howard’s cheeks as he finished reading. Jason hasn’t move an inch away from the window, still starring out. Howard walked over to him and again he started caressing his neck in the same lovely way he always did it. Jason turned around and buried his face on his friends shoulder. After a while standing and searching each other’s peace, Howard’s thumb still at his neck, they managed to finally separate, holding the others gaze several seconds. Then Howard nodded and Jason went to the door and opened it. Near the frame Rob was sitting on the floor. When he realized Jason he slowly stood up. Wordlessly Jason pulled him in a hug.  
  
“You’re really great with words, Rob. Thank you for waiting and letting me choose you. Never a letter has warmed my heart more than yours. You’re special too. Maybe more then you’ll ever see. And I promise you next time I’ll listening to you first and don’t run away. “  
  
Howard came out of the room and smiled about the scene. But there was also a hint of jealousy seeing somebody else holding Jason in this lovely way. It grew up as Rob lifted his hand and put it on Jay’s neck, doing the same thing he’s ever done.  
  
When he saw him pulling his head softly away, he couldn’t feel any prouder knowing that he’s the exception to Jason’s rules. He catches Rob’s glance and recognize something in there he couldn’t explain, it was like a mixture of wisdom and mischievousness.  
  
Suddenly Robbie’s mobile phone rung and he let Jason go, picking the phone out of his pocket.  
  
“Sorry, guys, its Ayda. My personal snowflake. By the way, have you read the second letter? Better do it…” and with that he went to his room.  
  
Howard and Jason both shake their heads while entering Jay’s room.  
“My personal snowflake… rubbish” Howard mumbled as he closed the door.  
  
“What a mixture of an old philosophy professor and a five-year-old kid…” Jason giggled as he again looked out of the window. Howard meanwhile had grabbed the letter again and unfolds the last part.  
  
  
_The last winter I saw Mrs. Rose (or Aunt Theodora, as I was allowed to call her) she said to me something I didn’t understand till I meet Ayda:_  
  
_“There’ll be a lot of flakes deciding to land on you, young lad; a few of them will land at your neck but you’ll only feel the cold and you’ll wipe them away. Though one special snowflake which chooses you will warm your heart, you’ll allow them to stay and it will melt in your near. It cools you down when you need it and reminds you of the warmth you’re able to give. Hold on to it; don’t let it ever go again._  
  
_Give Jay a kiss from me too, Howard. ;-)_  
 _Love you both_  
  
  
  
A few months later Rob looks smilingly out of the window at his house, softly rocking little Teddy.  
Far away he can spot a couple walking slowly through the snow, snuggled close together in their arms, stopping now and then for a kiss …


End file.
